crazy people

Don't tell mum!

filed under: crazy people, kids running wild

When I was at university, I made sure I learned everything I could about social interaction and cultures. I'm not talking about my course - I'm talking about what you do when you're not studying. I excelled in this regard.

I also had some quite adept mentors on my side. 

My mother used to get a pained expression on her face when I told her about nights out that I had when I was at uni. With her lips pressed together like a pinched nerve, she'd warn me that the longer I stayed out, the more chance there was that something would happen.

I used to think... GREAT! I'd love something to happen...

The recent snowfall in England has successfully done its job once again, in bringing pretty much most of Great Britain to a complete standstill. Airports closed, network rail halted, and roads gridlocked with abandoned cars.

Of course, only the crazy and stupid people would choose to get in their cars and add to the problem when the snow is falling and the gritters are still stabled. The warnings come thick and fast to NOT drive unless you absolutely have to.

Which of course, is why we found ourselves driving through Saturday's blizzard, both dressed in wedding finery, and going nowhere fast...

My father in law has recently been dragged kicking and screaming into the current century, by the tax department. He now owns a computer, and has "access to the interwebs". He had no choice but to buy a computer because - as an accountant - he was required by law to put his clients tax returns in online.

With any normal person, adapting to this new regime might be tricky, but would eventually become second nature. But we're not taking normal people here.

If you knew my father in law you'd know how insane this situation sounds. Suggesting that he'd become familar with it soon enough is enough to induce death by hysteria...

Have you had it up to here with rude pushy people?

Are you sick of people making demands of you all the time?

Do you hate it when self obsessed people yack on and on about themselves?

Is your day filled with annoying folk who don't know how stupid they are?

Does that slow little old lady meandering down the street in front of you make you want to scream?

Are you getting stabby?

Well, here's a post for you!

I start so many blog posts in my head, get to about the third paragraph, then forget the entire thing. Which is a real shame, because I am hugely witty in my head. Words flow very easily in my mind in a way that they don't necessarily do if I speak them out loud.In my head I am very eloquent. But really, it's only relevant to an audience of one. If I can entertain myself, then job done! That's probably why when I'm alone I hold conversations with myself and monologue in silly voices.But the trick is not knowing how...
I wouldn't make a good Italian.Oh, in many ways I would - the whole crazy shouting over emotional thing, yep. I have that in spades.Lets just wave goodbye to all my Italian readers as they rush for the door in disgust at my hackneyed cliche.My failing point as an Italian is the whole cappucino thing. I drink about three a day. In fact, I just had one. Which is a slight problem, being that it's currently 10pm.I've been told (by an Itatlian) that the cappucino is a breakfast drink. You don't drink it later in the day. That's when you...
I am sitting here waiting - vigilesque - for my errant husband who is coming home from a boozy boys holiday in Munich tonight.At least, I think he's coming home tonight. I'm sure that's what he said before he left. The trouble is, there is only an hour left of "tonight" and I haven't heard from him.In fact, I haven't heard from him at all since he muttered (in the way a text can mutter) something about his phone dying on Friday afternoon. Radio silence descended after that. One can only presume that he forgot to take a charger. Add...

The strangeness of kinders

filed under: crazy people
Last weekend was a special weekend for me, as it quite often is. This has nothing to do with the fact that Sunday was February 14th however. Mr Boxer Shorts and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day.We don't hate it. We just don't do it.I am quite happy for the rest of the world to get all doughy eyed at each other, proclaim undying love and spend huge amounts of money on things that were hastily repackaged in red or pink behind the counter and display massive cards that play tinny versions of "Where do I begin".I'm not your bah humbugger...

FML? Please don't.

filed under: crazy people, manging life
I learnt a new phrase the other day, when someone noted that they'd just learnt what a certain acronym meant. I hadn't even noticed it in use before this person mentioned it.The acronym is FML, and apparently the meaning is "Fuck my Life.". I'm sorry mum, there really was no alternative translation for that. It's not like WTF? Which has the gentler version of WTH? which still manages to convey the same spirit.(But do note that I did try and get it into the second paragraph so that you wouldn't have to see a swear word on facebook, so you...

random ramblings and red wine

filed under: crazy people
Don't you just love IMDB.com? I do. I know more about what I watch now than I ever did. Because whenever I see someone who looks vaguely familiar, I just leap on IMDB.com (usually on my iphone) and look them up.You know how it goes - you're sitting there watching something and there is a familiar face looking back at you. You just can't put a name to them, but you're sure you've seen them before. So you look them up, and discover that while they are not a major star, they've been an extra in almost every sitcom you've...

car wars and shed monsters

filed under: crazy people
Photo credit  CmdrGravyOur street is a typical outer London street, in that it's not wide enough for two cars to pass each other, without the potential danger of one of them needing a new paint job after the fact. This leads to the common practise by those of us who live here of waiting at the bottom of the street for a car that is already navigating its way down. And then of course, as the two cars pass at the cross street - a thank you nod from the waitee to the waiter. It's common sense, and it's...

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