I was reminded yesterday of one of the things I was not sorry to leave behind when I stopped working for yuku, and that is the incredible childishness and self
absorbed behaviour of a small number of the member base.
Someone "anonymously" tipped me off about a thread that had disturbed her. She didn't like to see people portrayed in a negative light, and wanted me to be aware of it. My first reaction was "don't look!" I've seen so many topics about me on and off yuku in the past 5 years that I know better than to bother reading someone's less than well informed opinions about me. But I didn't recognise the board url at all, so I ended up clicking the link.
It's never an uplifting moment to read a bitter, ranting diatribe aimed at yourself. Not alluded at, or disguised as the actions of yuku, but individually villified in vitriolic terms. I was momentarily taken aback. I paused briefly to look at the rest of the board, since I still didn't know who's it was. Nothing worth reading - more rants, a total of only 4 people posting on it (probably). And it seems to belong to the profile seeing fit to libel* me. But all in all, stuck in the backwater of the internet - not really likely to affect me.
The first reaction when you read something that is so utterly wrong about yourself is to reply and put the record straight. But I've had too much experience with that type of person to think that they even care about the facts. In her sad little head I deleted some of her posts, so therefore I was on a vendetta to erase things that she said just because I didn't like her. I'd hate to rain on her parade and say that she didn't really make much of a blip on my radar in the first place! What really happens when you reply to them, is that this kind of person replies and twists your words out of context, or just screams unreasonable abuse back. Or - which is ironic (I think) - just removes your comment. The very thing that they are complaining about in the first place.
Anyway, the topic was made back in March. That's a long time ago in internet terms. She's probably forgotten about it completely right? Actually no - she's proud of it. Seeing me in her who's online, and maybe using her tracker to see where I'd been, she actually replied to some of the topics I looked in. I wouldn't have even known that unless one of the people I shared the link with had told me - so I went back to have a look (yes, silly, right? Breaking my own rules?) and what I discovered wasn't an apology or embarrassed admission that she'd been angry at the time, but a defiant "enjoy reading this?" comment. Oh my. I have a feeling this woman is old enough to be my mother, but she's acting like my 7 year old might - in 6 years when she hits her teens! Sulky and sullen, with no consideration for the feelings of another.
This is a common internet problem. Some people don't seem to be aware that others are real human beings. They are unable to deal with others in a face to face manner like they would in real life. Or at least - I hope they would. Prior to her parting comment I partially felt like I could explain things to her - but now I couldn't care less what she thinks. And anyone who knows me won't care either.
Footnote:
* libel - yes, it was libel. Defamation is defined as: "the communication of a statement that makes a false claim, expressly stated or implied to be factual, that may give an individual, business, product, group, government or nation a negative image." She claims I lied to her, that I deleted posts and topics from a personal dislike. Of course, to prove that it is defamatory, I need to prove that it's not true - which I could. Or to prove that it isn't libel, she needs to prove that her statements are true - which she can't . She could, of course change it into her "opinion" rather than facts, since that's all it is.
The funny thing is that although I wrote the Code of Conduct, I was rarely the person who put it to use. On one occasion prior to its implementation I had to undelete 10 topics in order to see why 3 members had been banned by a staff member. I unbanned all three after finding nothing more than angry members complaining that a bug remained still unfixed. That was one of the reasons I wrote the Code of Conduct in the first place - to ensure that members and staff alike had a clear outline as to what was acceptable.
Someone "anonymously" tipped me off about a thread that had disturbed her. She didn't like to see people portrayed in a negative light, and wanted me to be aware of it. My first reaction was "don't look!" I've seen so many topics about me on and off yuku in the past 5 years that I know better than to bother reading someone's less than well informed opinions about me. But I didn't recognise the board url at all, so I ended up clicking the link.
It's never an uplifting moment to read a bitter, ranting diatribe aimed at yourself. Not alluded at, or disguised as the actions of yuku, but individually villified in vitriolic terms. I was momentarily taken aback. I paused briefly to look at the rest of the board, since I still didn't know who's it was. Nothing worth reading - more rants, a total of only 4 people posting on it (probably). And it seems to belong to the profile seeing fit to libel* me. But all in all, stuck in the backwater of the internet - not really likely to affect me.
The first reaction when you read something that is so utterly wrong about yourself is to reply and put the record straight. But I've had too much experience with that type of person to think that they even care about the facts. In her sad little head I deleted some of her posts, so therefore I was on a vendetta to erase things that she said just because I didn't like her. I'd hate to rain on her parade and say that she didn't really make much of a blip on my radar in the first place! What really happens when you reply to them, is that this kind of person replies and twists your words out of context, or just screams unreasonable abuse back. Or - which is ironic (I think) - just removes your comment. The very thing that they are complaining about in the first place.
Anyway, the topic was made back in March. That's a long time ago in internet terms. She's probably forgotten about it completely right? Actually no - she's proud of it. Seeing me in her who's online, and maybe using her tracker to see where I'd been, she actually replied to some of the topics I looked in. I wouldn't have even known that unless one of the people I shared the link with had told me - so I went back to have a look (yes, silly, right? Breaking my own rules?) and what I discovered wasn't an apology or embarrassed admission that she'd been angry at the time, but a defiant "enjoy reading this?" comment. Oh my. I have a feeling this woman is old enough to be my mother, but she's acting like my 7 year old might - in 6 years when she hits her teens! Sulky and sullen, with no consideration for the feelings of another.
This is a common internet problem. Some people don't seem to be aware that others are real human beings. They are unable to deal with others in a face to face manner like they would in real life. Or at least - I hope they would. Prior to her parting comment I partially felt like I could explain things to her - but now I couldn't care less what she thinks. And anyone who knows me won't care either.
Footnote:
* libel - yes, it was libel. Defamation is defined as: "the communication of a statement that makes a false claim, expressly stated or implied to be factual, that may give an individual, business, product, group, government or nation a negative image." She claims I lied to her, that I deleted posts and topics from a personal dislike. Of course, to prove that it is defamatory, I need to prove that it's not true - which I could. Or to prove that it isn't libel, she needs to prove that her statements are true - which she can't . She could, of course change it into her "opinion" rather than facts, since that's all it is.
The funny thing is that although I wrote the Code of Conduct, I was rarely the person who put it to use. On one occasion prior to its implementation I had to undelete 10 topics in order to see why 3 members had been banned by a staff member. I unbanned all three after finding nothing more than angry members complaining that a bug remained still unfixed. That was one of the reasons I wrote the Code of Conduct in the first place - to ensure that members and staff alike had a clear outline as to what was acceptable.
Alison, well said and I was going to add more to this here but have changed my mind, maybe I should email you my thoughts instead.
Oh do email your thoughts to me - not all things should be aired in public, should they!! :)
Someone is tossing the toys out of their pram, aren't they. You can keep on saying it chilly, but it doesn't get any truer. If the cap fits, you could
always ask for another colour my dear.
Alison, I am too familiar with your experience. In fact, you are more reserved than I would ever be. But I am learning more and more, that the less attention
you pay to people who think they know more about you than you know of yourself is just a waste of time.
I've been with Ezboard and Yuku since both started. I've had my issues with Ezboard as time went on, but never to the degree in which I've read
from members who seemed not to have good rational sense. And I do know even back in the early days of Ezboard, the mods and creators got a lot of sh!t thrown
at them that was out of their control.
Anyway, I do know that the few times I needed your help, you were there. It was nothing major, but you were able to help me out on various boards I had and I
appreciate it. I'm sorry that you had to leave YUKU. I'm sure it's justified and I wish you all the luck in the world.
Hey Wil! thanks for your kind words. I've spent such a lot of time ignoring the dickheads, that now I don't have to be nice I enjoyed venting a bit!
But I didn't leave yuku because of rude ignorant members, no fear! There were a lot of factors involved, but the members of yuku are - in the vast majority
- wonderful people, who I've enjoyed helping. And I am still happy to help!